Dark inside.

I am at the darkest place of my soul right now. Slowly I avoid the contact with other beings... It will sure not stop my suffering... Damn. Then what would?

It is sooooooooooo fucking hard to rely only in yourself. To become strong is one of the hardest things I have ever done. (or am trying to do)

I guess I got used to be targeted as the object of others unhappiness as if I were to blame... and maybe all the mental abuse and yelling have made me believe it was actually true.

Yes, I have become someone with a twisted mind, so twisted it confuses me all the time. And if I say it here for you all, I guess it's a start, it shows that maybe, just maybe I might overcome the fear and hang on a little while longer...